Photo showing journalists from around the world flocking to Kia’s preview evening in Frankfurt.

 

Unfortunately, Motor
Finance
didn’t go to the Frankfurt Motor Show.

We read about it, the same as
everybody else. The shining new cars, the torrents of money in a
room full of attractive and well-dressed people. Not for us. We
took the safe option of staring resentfully at the internet
instead.

Dealers and finance houses, apart
from the very lucky ones, were too busy to go to Frankfurt too, so
we can all be wistful about staying in the basement together.
There’s plenty of room after all, while our stepsister industry
goes to the ball.

So, what have we missed? And what
will we be seeing on our forecourts and in trade publications
sometime before 2020?

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Andrew English in The Daily
Telegraph
writes with great praise of Mercedes’ bold
futurism.

The F125 may not be the replacement
of the S-Class, English says, but has 16.5lb of hydrogen, a 10KWh
lithium-sulphur battery, potentially smart-phoned control charging,
gull-wing doors, a zenith of 313bhp and can go for 620 miles at
speeds up to 137mph.

It also, probably, has room enough
in the back to carry the chest of Cartier-encrusted £50 notes a
potential buyer travels with.

This car can get you from
Innenstadt, Frankfurt, to a flagship boutique on Avenue Montaigne
and back on a single tank of hydrogen – theoretically – in
four-and-a-half hours.

Looking out at the Bayswater
traffic, one may feel that both function, if not style, may be
diminished for those wishing to take the flyover to Ruislip home
with a nip into Threshers’ on the way.

Photo of a muscle car from KiaAt least
the doors can let us pretend we are driving Doc Brown’s Delorean
from the Back to the Future movies.

Huw Evans of AutoGuide.com is
similarly impressed by the concept Kia that revisits the power and
verve European designers produced 40 years ago in the wake of the
Mustang.

The engine’s in the front, the
drive’s in the back, there are 3.3 litres of fuel waiting to be
directly injected in to the thing, and it’s all controlled by an
eight-speed automatic gearbox.

The thing is a brute made by a
company that’s normally as sensible as a cardigan. It’s like
realising that Disney owns Buena Vista and, therefore,
Reservoir Dogs and The Little Mermaid were made
by the same company.

That it is a huge draw at Frankfurt
is no surprise. If Smart made a monster truck I’d queue to see
it.

Will it be a huge draw on the
Chester ring road? Possibly. Given Kia and Hyundai’s market
demographic, people edging toward retirement, looking for something
small and fun (in reality and in cost), not many would select
something built for burning victory donuts on the tarmac of the
finish area of an Alpine switchback race.

Similarly, can those who look for a
car they can drive along a flat countryside A-road and (one day)
take on a lap of Nurburgring racetrack be persuaded to settle for a
motor from a marque they had never considered before?

We of this column appreciate Rory
Reid of CNET’s take on the noises and flashbulbs, but if you’re
going to send somebody who will simultaneously mock EU emission
standards, champagne breakfasts, and dancing girls, CNET, you may
well run this page out of business.

In contrast, BBC News Online ran a
stern-faced business report from Jorn Madslien on the fight back of
car firms but dressed in the slick designs and appealing
computer-generated images that are obligatory at Frankfurt.

Likewise, The Guardian, as
an example that print media has jitters as big as the car industry
does, covered Frankfurt through press agencies in Germany, rather
than sending their own reporter, but filled their online pages with
a similar array of shiny pictures.

Still, it’s easier to carp about
new and expensive cars than trying to sell them.

One day these mighty phoenixes,
show ponies, road kings and white elephants will be on a showroom
floor and that’s where our industry comes in.

It’s the dealerships and the finance houses that will make
people want the cars and buy the cars while the manufacturers
parade their designs around the world. And we’ll be right here,
covering both. Nonetheless, I still wish my Facebook page was
plastered with photos of me drinking cocktails with tanned
continentals, though.